When Behaviour Speaks: Understanding the Link Between Communication and Behaviour
According to the Royal College of Speech and Language Therapists (RCSLT, n.d.), 81% of children with emotional and behavioural disorders have significant, yet unidentified, communication needs. In addition, children with persistent and severe conduct problems are around three times more likely to have low verbal ability than children at a lower risk of conduct problems. These findings highlight the importance of considering communication when trying to understand behaviour (Conti-Ramsden et al., 2012). Communication involves much more than speaking. It includes understanding language, expressing thoughts and emotions, asking for help, following instructions, engaging in conversations and interpreting social cues. When these skills are difficult, everyday situations can become confusing, frustrating and overwhelming.
What does communication have to do with behaviour?
Have you ever felt frustrated because someone misunderstood you or because you couldn't find the right words to explain how you were feeling? Now imagine experiencing that frustration every day.
When communication is difficult, behaviour may become a person's way of getting a message across. A child who cannot ask for help may cry or throw objects, while a child who struggles to understand spoken instructions may appear to ignore them or refuse to participate. In these situations, the behaviour itself may be a sign that the individual is struggling to communicate or cope.
Not every behaviour is caused by communication difficulties. Behaviour is influenced by many factors, including emotions, sensory experiences, fatigue, pain, anxiety and the environment. However, communication should always be considered when trying to understand why a behaviour is occurring. Rather than asking, "How do we stop this behaviour?", it is often more helpful to ask, "What is this person trying to communicate?"
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Behaviour can mask communication difficulties
Behaviours such as refusing to participate, shouting, withdrawing or becoming very upset can sometimes mask an underlying communication difficulty. Without recognising these challenges, behaviours may be misinterpreted as defiance, poor motivation or a lack of cooperation. For example, a child who appears to ignore instructions may not have understood what was said, while another may refuse a task because they cannot communicate that it feels too difficult or overwhelming.
Looking beyond the behaviour allows parents, educators and professionals to identify the underlying need rather than focusing solely on the behaviour. Recognising hidden communication difficulties helps create supportive environments where individuals feel understood and can participate more successfully in everyday life.
Communication supports self-regulation
Self-regulation is the ability to recognise, understand and manage our emotions, thoughts and behaviours in response to different situations. Communication plays a fundamental role in this process. Research suggests that language development is closely linked to the development of self-regulation, as language provides children with the tools to understand, organise and manage their thoughts and behaviours (Petersen et al., 2015).
Children who have difficulty understanding spoken language may struggle to follow instructions, understand routines or predict what will happen next. This uncertainty can lead to frustration and emotional dysregulation. Adults can support both communication and self-regulation by using clear language, providing visual supports, allowing extra processing time and helping children recognise and label their emotions.
Looking beyond the behaviour
For individuals with communication difficulties, having a reliable way to express their wants, needs, thoughts and emotions can reduce frustration, strengthen relationships and promote greater participation in everyday life.
Supporting communication is not about eliminating behavior. It is about understanding the message behind it and giving individuals the tools they need to communicate more effectively. By looking beyond the behaviour and asking, "What is this person trying to communicate?", we can respond with greater empathy, identify underlying needs and provide support that truly makes a difference.
References
Conti-Ramsden, G., Mok, P. L. H., Pickles, A., & Durkin, K. (2012). Adolescents with a history of specific language impairment (SLI): Strengths and difficulties in social, emotional and behavioural functioning and self-concepts. Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools, 43(4), 445–460. https://doi.org/10.1044/0161-1461(2012/11-0069)
Petersen, I., Bates, J. and Staples, A. (2015). The role of language ability and self-regulation in the development of inattentive–hyperactive behavior problems. Development and Psychopathology, 27(1), 221-237.
Royal College of Speech and Language Therapists. (n.d.). Understanding the links between communication and behaviour. https://www.rcslt.org/wp-content/uploads/media/Project/RCSLT/rcslt-behaviour-a4-factsheet.pdf
